Utila, one of Honduras’ Bay Islands is the perfect destination in which to get in some diving, snorkelling, drinking, relaxing and even mud wrestling. We are hitting the bars.

UTILA, one of The Bay Islands (Las Islas de la Bahia), in Honduras is a weird place. If you’ve ever been there you’ll know what I mean, or, if you’re going, you’ll know what I mean when you’ve spent just a few days there.

To start with, the locals are a curious blend of pirate descent — Dutch, Scottish and English rapscallions of yesteryear who, for one rogueish reason or another, decided that after their sea-faring and gold-pilfering pirate days were over, they would settle on a small island in the Caribbean. As a result, locals talk with the most mongrel accent I’ve ever come across. Elements of Scottish cross with Jamaican and American if you can imagine that, with all the colloquial sayings thrown in for good measure: “ya maaan” (yeah man), “cum ’ere sun” (come here son — heard said from one kid to another!), “whatcha be wantin toodee?” (what do you want today?) etc.

Approximately 18 miles from the Honduras mainland, there are three bay islands — Roatán, Guanaja and Utila — all of which provide brilliant blue, clear water, palm-fringed beaches cooled by constant trade winds, exotic plants and nature trails. Any can be easily reached from La Ceiba, a city on the Honduran mainland coast in a short journey by either sea or air. Sunday schedules can be limited, so plan on arriving and departing Utila during the week.

The big pull to Utila, like all the other Bay Islands, is the diving and snorkelling. The reef system in the warm Caribbean waters is one of the most extensive in the world and whether you are interested in diving or snorkelling, you will be surrounded by diverse coral types, sponges, fish and marine life which you can usually see in excellent visibility.

Utila is also reputedly the cheapest place in the world to learn to dive on a PADI course, depending on exchange rates at the time. For around only US$250, you can be PADI qualified within the week and continue to go through the paces of gaining higher PADI qualifications the longer you spend there. Shipwrecks, dolphin dives, volcanic tunnels, shallows, whale shark and tiger ray encounters await you and the adventurous can explore canyons, ridges and stunning sea walls full of life.

Several of the instructors when I was there were underwater experts hailing from around the world, which somehow seems to make you feel safer being in the hands of a fellow traveller. Dive instructors are also an eternally good source of information on where to eat, what to explore and what drinking spots will be the best each night, though the locals are equally helpful and eager to befriend you.

Watch how friendly these relationships get, though, because before you know it, you’ll end up in the island’s local newspaper the Utila Times, issued each month for a nominal price. It makes a great souvenir if you do manage to make headlines while you’re there! The local gossip in this few-page spread helps you to get acquainted with the locals in no time.

Like Corky, the loveable Downs Syndrome guy who is rigged to win the annual Independence Day boxing match each year. You have to pity the humble local who goes in just to get pummelled by the supernaturally strong man of the town. Indeed, you feel like you’ve lived here for a few months or a year after only a few days.

Everything is within walking distance on the island and as such, it is basically impossible to get lost. There is one main road following the coastline along the harbour. This road is a pedestrian road so every morning stroll to grab breakfast is a parade of familiar faces and polite smiles, hellos and goodbyes.

Bicycles are the main means of transportation, a good idea if you want to beat your mates down to the café to order your next meal or to create a bit of air as you move in the balmy Caribbean climate. There are several places that rent them.

More and more activities are catering to non-divers.

Horseback riding, scuba diving, snorkelling, charter fishing trips, sailing, day hikes and sea kayaking are also available, as is lazing for days on end in hammocks and taking in any number of the spectacular sunsets, or in rainy season, thunderstorms at the end of each sun-kissed day.

Paradise is blemished by only one demon in these parts: the sandfly. These can be particularly ferocious around rainy season and you don’t want to be coming home drunk and crashing outside on a hammock if you value your first layer of epidermis at all.

Utila’s electric current is supplied by a generator on the island and under normal circumstances, there is only electricity from 5am till midnight. If you’re lucky, some hotels have their own generators, which means that you will not be left without electric power like the rest of town is.

After dark, there’s plenty of fun to be had at venues that have their own generators including, many of the bars and clubs.

Coco Loco’s is a popular place with the young travellers and dive instructors. The drink of the day is usually Cuba Libre, (rum, coke and a twist of lemon juice), although there are many other cocktails available. The bar is situated 50m out over a precarious pier. Inside, there is a hammock strung up in the roof and accessed via ladder, ideal for cuddling up to that guy you’ve had your eye on all holiday or for passing around a sneaky spliff between friends. The tables down below are nothing more than BBQ tables, but some of the seats are actually attached to the roof with rope and you can swing and swig at the same time.

Bar in the Bush is also an innovative bar. It is literally surrounded by bush. Make sure you take torch and insect repellent out to the pub with you. Some Kiwis I met there one night took the name a little too literally and proceeded to have rounds of slippery mud wrestling fights on the mud splattered floor from a recent downpour.

If watching Kiwis mud wrestling or menial pub talk isn’t doing for you and you want to show off your sporting prowess, there’s also a beach volleyball court attached to the pub.

If you’re up for a particularly big night you can always move on to where the locals go and get into the music which they call reggae, but which many Londoners would consider a cross between drum’n’bass and ragga. Grinding, pelvic- thrusting dance styles have the wooden dancefloors positively heaving along. You have to drink fast to retain the alcohol volumes in your blood stream, as you’ll sweat it out in a steaming venue like this in no time at all.

But hey, you’re on holiday — and having fun is what it’s all about. And down here, you won’t struggle.

Further information:
Honduras Department of Tourism
2100 Ponce De Leon Blvd.
Suite 1175
Coral Gables, FL 33134
Phone: 800-410-9608
Phone: 305-461-0600
Fax: 305-461-0602
ihtourism@hondutel.hn
www.hondurastips.honduras.com/utila hotels.htm