As a prelude to this journal, let me first say that it is being written by Vern, who did not perceive himself as being a cruise prospect and conceded to go with Jo in celebration of a birthday.  We now find that neither of us were really cruise prospects and I shall make every effort to stick with the facts and simply stipulate those to which we are opposed and why we find that particular feature either less than desirable or just wonderful.  Some people love cruises and some do not, and I guess that's why we have so many religions, political parties, etc., etc.  Since some of our encounters contain some humor, I'm sure you can fine a grin here and there, regardless of your own opinion of cruises.
 
 Saturday, January 31, :  An early American Airlines flight through DFW and into San Juan was not only on time but we arrived a good half hour early in San Juan.  A fully loaded 757 left the gate early at DFW since all seats were filled and a storm was approaching the field.  Between the early gate departure and a better than average tail wind from the jet stream, we screamed into San Juan ahead of schedule.  No delays were encountered and we were soon checked into Cabin A545 by around 5:30 pm, but without our checked baggage [which finally arrived in our room around 9:45 pm.]  Our Cabin had been moved up two decks and from cabin C538.  The change was also from Port to Starboard, but still pretty much mid ship.  We dinned casual at around 9pm and then returned to find our checked baggage and to "move in".  Opinion at this point is that the Ship and Crew are probably the best available in the Caribbean and we find nothing inferior nor lacking.

 SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1, - BARBADOS:
This is to be a full day at sea enroute to Barbados, therefore we have an unrushed breakfast and head for the top deck for some fun in the sun.  The sky is almost totally clear, we're near the equator, and this boy from sunny Phoenix falls asleep on deck where the sun did shine!  Well it took a spatula to get me off of that lounge and the old saying of "give me some skin" not only took on a new meaning but I now found it rather easy to do just that.  I also now get my first clue that we have entered the realm of the Anti-Christ of the Burmuda Triangle and that Satanic Torment is to be administered throughout the remainder of our trip.  Jo informs me that she's feeling the pangs of a severe sinus infection and the Ship's Doctor confirms this at around 5pm.  A mouth full of pills is followed by dinner served to those who have donned formal attire.  [Here I shall note a couple of Cruise procedures that are not really ideal for us.  You are assigned [never did hear that word without getting heartburn] a table and you are to sit at this table at each meal with all others "assigned" and the same "assigned" waiters, etc.  You are told what you will wear during this 'assignment'.  [Think you get the point here]!  Jo feels pretty bad, my skin is falling off and our waiter swaps the dinners of the two men having beards at the table, resulting in the "rare" steak being served to the "well" steak order and vice versa.  I don't send it back, nor eat mine, but did call it to the waiter's attention with some light hearted humor [Containing minor references to 'Mad Cow Disease'] and let it go at that, with the opinion that since he knew he blew it tonight, he would be extra careful in the future.  I also believe in Santa, the tooth fairy and that Bill did not inhale, so naturally this Italian wonder implies that the two of us, not him, screwed the order.  [The next line is omitted as this is a family site].

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 2,

:  We awake on this great Ground Hog's Day in port at Barbados and Jo now has a severe pain in one tooth, as in abscess.  I'm showing a red burn that generated hormonal disturbances in lobsters as far away as Maine.  We're back seeing the Ship's Doctor at the opening bell which was 08:00am.  Jo's talking of finding anything that can fly us out of the Caribbean and home.  The Dr. says she can control the pain until we can reach a very distant Dentist who isn't into playing a bit of "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with what were your teeth, so we load up on some antibiotics and pain pills and we're off to breakfast.  We do a Catamaran trip that involves some cool sailing and some snorkeling.  Jo takes care of the snorkeling while I drink a little rum, then we all take off sailing up the coast with some good music and more rum punch.  This is very nice, as was the crew on the catamaran.  Life is once again nice, but then the merry-go-round stops and we have to get off!  Jo's feeling pain again [in spite of the rum] so the afternoon is slow.  Me, having stopped smoking 5 months ago, will be having a hard time with nothing to do but watch lint collect and skin peel, so I now invite Segrams V.O. to sit at my table and we soon become friends.  Dinner sees us back at table #65 with all other 'assignments' intact.  Tonight, the waiter again swapps the dinners of the two men with beards and I now see him as probably absent from someplace without proper papers and immediately formulate a mental picture of a 'proper assignment'.  Now I am faced with a real problem, especially in light of the fact that I do not want to spoil Jo's birthday.  The problem is that I now realize that if I see that this guy gets full credit and proper recognition for getting 66.66% of the entrees correct during the last two nights, that this will make someone else 'assigned' to this 'assigned' table mad, which in turn will cause Jo to consider cutting my allowance.  All my color at this point is not attributed to sun burn nor underwear that is much too small.  We return to the Cabin with the Anti-Christ dancing in the dark as he has just checked our waiter's error average and came up with '66.6', during '66.6' of the meals served, to date.
 
Tuesday, FEBRUARY 3,  - St. Lucia:  We did leave the ship here as it docked at a pier which afforded a no-wait departure and return.  Here, we were met with the hustlers that liked to follow you, even after  hearing a polite "No thanks, we are not interested" more than once.  I did have to stop a couple of times and ask "Just what is it about no that they didn't fully understand", which seemed to clear the air but it does detract from your enjoyment when this same scene is repeated over and over.  A stroll around the harbor and a few photos pretty well finished us for this place so we returned to the ship.  Jo is still having tooth problems.  Note here:  We seem to be compatible as while Jo continues to have tooth problems, I'm told that I have Mouth Problems!  ;~(

Wednesday, FEBRUARY 4, '98 - MARTINIQUE:   We had read some really bad press in the news groups about this place but I found it less offensive than St. Lucia.  Only once did anyone block our path, or anything close to a confrontation, and that was not intentional.  I personally think this "Bad" island was a great improvement over the part of St. Lucia that we  saw.

Thursday, FEBRUARY 5,  - St. Maarten & st. Barthelemy:  This is a great little island from what we saw and is not of the standard Caribbean variety.  One immediate difference that you notice is that the population here is definitely native French.  Although, we found that some shop keepers closed their doors upon hearing that a Cruise Ship was in, we found nothing but friendly people who were more than accommodating.  They very nicely corrected my very bad French by explaining a gender error that was totally helpful and non-critical.  Another offered samples of home made run and a lot of friendly chat.  Material was provided on vacationing on St. Barth, arriving by air, and for enjoying their hospitality.  We've saved this information and will most likely use it in the not too distant future.  Lunch was at the back side of the Marina, served by an old French gentleman, who also was quite nice and attentive.  He even took the time to provide some directions as we departed.  This lifestyle has declined during the past 3 years, as they've had to open their ports to cruise ships in order to raise money for rebuilding after a major hurrican disaster [their words, not mine].  Some humor here as after doing a double take at a unisex restroom, I was told to "come on in, there's no one here but us girls", so I did as I've been down this road before.  Jo later attempted to use this same facility but the large number of men present  made her decide to wait awhile longer.

Friday,  FEBRUARY 6,  - St Thomas: To be completed at a later date.

Saturday,  FEBRUARY 7,  - San Juan, Puerto Rico:  To be completed at a later date and includes hotel light switches that can cause shutdowns at 3 mile island and a pharmacy that does not do drugs.. ;-)